Week 2
Working with Differences in Libido & Sexual Expectations

Pre-reading for week 2

Please complete Sandra Pertot's libido test for yourself. This won't need to be shared. It is just for the experience of completing it and then reading about the different types.

When I use this with clients I suggest to rank number 1 to 3 instead of all ten because I have found it can be hard to choose between all ten.Sandra Pertot's Libido test.pdf 68.54 KB

Also, please read these two articlesAdvice for when you don't feel like sex in long term relationships

Sexual desire vs Sexual arousal

Often with clients I will keep a list of links to things that they can watch or read between sessions, you may want to add some of these to your list of resources.

Pod Exercise

Role plays (counsellor & couple)

Client: "I love my partner but I don’t feel like sex"

Invite conversation with clients around sex, what might be getting in the way, what they might enjoy. Bring curiosity:

What is getting in the way? ( Look for these things - too busy, too tired, don’t like it, don’t enjoy, housemates can hear, pain or discomfort, stress in the relationship ).
Is there anything that would make you feel like sex or being intimate? What kind of intimacy is possible with your partner?
Has there been a time when it was easy and enjoyable with your partner? What was in place then? Was it limerence?
Introduce spontaneous vs. responsive desire & prioritising intimacy

After completing the exercise, individually complete the POD 2 Learning form.

Individually fill out the form on this page after you have completed the pod activity with your group

Some guidelines/ideas:

•What have you learnt about the couple’s libidos?

•What intimacy is possible for this couple?